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absolutely. no. regrets

Mar 28, 2020

When I was 19 years old, I took a job as a “summer girl” in an affluent Edina neighborhood with 4 kids; twins, Sara and Abby, 10, Molly, age 8 and Tommy, 1.   I spent those college summers hanging out with the kids at the pool, driving to appointments, making meals, doing laundry, playing games, running outside and even had moments at their lake cabin on warm, summer weekends.  It was a special time in my life for reasons I can see better now that it’s farther away.

While I was part of this family, I quickly observed something that has never left me.  They built and created very unique family moments and experiences.  They made memories; tea parties with friends before school, carefully planned couples weekends at the lake, family vacations at the beach, ski trips, croquet tournaments, golf outings, it was endless.

I observed all of this in total awe and remember thinking, this is what I want for my family.

I remember telling the mom, Diane, how much I appreciated all the little things, all the moments of shared family experiences.  And I asked her why.  She explained to me that her sister, who was also a twin, died in a sledding accident at age 8.  It changed her, it changed everything.  From that time forward, a moment was never taken for granted and in fact, each moment was made to matter.  Time is a gift.

As the years went on and I graduated from college, got married and started my own family, I brought with me everything I observed and everything I learned about creating moments and experiences, memories and connection.  I wanted to live my life, present to the gift of time and to the experience of being together.

8 years after that first summer I was the “summer girl”, Sara was killed in a head-on collision the day after her all-night Senior party.  Her and a friend were driving to the cabin to kick-off summer break.  I will never forget where I was when I got that call.

The grief and the loss were overwhelming.  And I just could not stop remembering all the moments, all that intention, shared experiences, joy, laughter, happiness, connection…unforgettable memories.  Absolutely. No. Regrets.  They lived well and fully and they loved deeply for every minute they had together.

I am writing about this today after flipping through a few photo albums and reflecting on the current state of the world.  Here we all are, at home, making a memory of this time. 

May this moment for you and your family matter. 

May you be touched in new ways by little things you didn’t see before.

May you look at them and really see them.

May you lay there longer.

May you read it again.  Sing it again.  Splash them again.

May you feel the gift of time like never before.

May you see the meaning.  May you create a memory.  May you look back on this time with absolutely no regret. 

May you live in love this day and all the days after.  

Be well my friends.  Take care of you and them.

In gratitude.


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